random rantings revealing rather rudimentary intelligence.
You gots to aks yourself a question. No, no one's going to make an offer you can't refuse. Neither one you will accept. In fact, no one will make you anything at all.
'Cept for that pimple on your butt and your life difficult, that is.
Have fun, mate. While you can.
A five year old falls into a pit. What would you do?"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war"? People who have been raised outside lunatic asylums would want otherwise. But not our efficient news networks. Hundreds of Indians fall into pits and potholes so thoughtfully maintained by our municipal corporations,to trap unsuspecting citizens and entertain themselves. So,what compelled these networks to project this event on the scale of a national calamity. Maybe the kid's name misled everyone.Perhaps they really thought he was a prince and felt the king would be miffed if his boy lost his best opportunity to be on tv.And what would you say of the Haryana government's reaction? Perhaps the minister felt like cashing in and projecting himself as a philanthrophist with minimum damage to his wallet. Rs 200,000 for falling into a pit? We'll soon have more pits than people. The municipalty will have a field day, taking bribes for digging pits and heftier bribes for covering them up. Nobody thought it appropriate to install CCTV cameras in our railway stations but they felt a need to use one to observe this boy.Now I know exactly how Brian Glanville felt,when he asked in his column after Steve McClaren was appointed Sven Goran Eriksson's successor, "Would you rather be shot or hanged?".
JUst HAD to happen didn't it? aaanyway, neanderthal-thingy will be damn pissed that this's my second post of the day, so click on the picture for more...
THe ROLLING STONES (24 BC- ) Band members:- Mick Stab-her, Key Prickles, Charlie Warts, Wan' Blood. when they gonna give up and retire? These senior citizens have many MANY paramedics on hold during their concerts in the highly likely event that one/more of them collapses with a cardiac arrest. and also, did i mention the pacemakers? yeah pacemakers... their recent album "a bit of slang" sold some copies as it had a senior-citizen-discount policy!! doormat hammer (or whatever the lead singer's name is) should throw in the white towel, or his dentures, and sit and home and let the others take over... peace out. (read as 'lights out')
a venus fly trap. or something of that sort from an 8th stand bio text. somehow that reminds me of biohazard. this weird freaky band from new york. lots of yelling and screaming. listen to new world disorder if you can. freaky song. here's a freaky video i saw... right now- korn. rocks!
man i'm rambling. but i can do that, right? this my blog. or our blog. or whatever. atleast this is a little more interesting than superman returns. suckath movie, man.
oh, this was a banner ad i saw just now...
what were they thinking? i mean it's one thing that people actually click on banner ad. entirely another thing that people'd click on it to get a pinkrazr...
imagine: A: "Hey! Know what? I just won a Razr!!! Phone rocks dude..." B: "Yessuh? You won it? Show the phone, da. I wanna have a look..." A: "Err... No. Can't show it." B: "Why?" A: "Dude... it's a NEW phone... If I take it out... err... can't man... sunlight... will spoil the phone..." or some such thing.
PINK. i hate the colour. (btw, i saw a guy. GUY. in pink jeans. god knows where his brain was. or whether he HAD a brain.)
DRUMS:-tommy lee (motley crew), LEAD guitar:-Guilby Clarke (GNR) & other guitarist:- Jason Newsted (metallica). this new reality show's for ugly unruly american-idol rejects. these arse-clowns get to choose from a list of crummy songs and try to 'make it their own'. the result is usually not pretty... bleah! the most exciting part of the show thus far.. and PROBABLY the rest of this show would be this dialogue between this psychotic female called sayeda and the supernova band:-
sayeda:- (drives herself to frenzy and music stops) dave navarro:- "wow! you are really entertaining" sayeda:- *silence* dave navarro:- "you have any idea what you look like up there?" sayeda:- *silence* guilby clarke:- "you have no idea what our music is all about do you?" sayeda:- "you gotta show me" tommy lee:- "you haven't done your homework for this show" sayeda:- "you gotta teach me baby" tommy lee:- "do you know what type of music we play?" sayeda:- "yea i've heard of your kind o music" guilby clarke:- "d'you even own any of our records?" sayeda:- "baby i was in diapers when you were playing!"
although this seems pretty stale, it's likely to be the most memorable part of a pretty stale copy of rockstar inxs.
Our guest this week is miss K.Viswanathan who not so long ago divulged details of how a certain O.Mehta clandestinely 'got kissed' (lost her virginity), 'got wild' (doggie style) and 'got a life'(became pregnant), in a book of hers,much to the displeasure of the latter.
NOTE FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD: Due to concerns over plagiarism,we have been forced to edit this article.
" Hello everyone.
Thanks for the opportunity. I really enjoyed blogging here."
"Roadside bomb kills seven U.S. soldiers in Iraq". We're so used to this that it doesn't seem like news anymore. Times Now and CNN-IBN have taken tv journalism to a new level. Anything and everything becomes news. "Karnataka cm asked to step down". "Chechen leader agrees to peace talks". Wow. What news! Why not something more interesting? Like umm..... "Kezman fucks girlfriend in Kosovo". "Prodi takes leak". "Ben Affleck buys cigarette". "India gets 2 more trees". "Car breaks down near Marathhalli". It won't be too long before we see such shit on these channels. (P.S: Be a citizen journalist. Send in any clips and pictures of messrs kezman and prodi that you have.)
1- Sepp Blatter contemplating slapping a two match ban on a retired Zinadine Zidane. 2- Materazzi's supposed slur turned out to be more of a case similar to the chanderpaul-mcgrath incident few years back. 3- Figo undecided. should he retire from football or should he quit? 4- That commentator insists that the Materazzi header was more of a case of ball hitting the head rather than the head hitting the ball 5- the Times of India poll reveals the Miroslav Klose (29) should be the best young player!! 6- C.Ronaldo wants out of ManUtd as he feels the english fans will not forgive him for his part in the sending off of wayne rooney. Fancies a move to Real Madrid. 7- Trezeguet blames the goal-post for the france defeat.
Ranji trophy action again dominates the sport pages... darn
Starting this week,every week we'll feature a column by a guest.This week's guest is Brooklyn B.
I came home last week. Daddy cried a lot. He cried twice. Once in the stadium and once on Rebecca aunty's lap back home. Mommy bought a car to carry all the clothes,she had bought,in. Mommy spends a lot of time in Sven granpa's room and comes back with a wad of bills under her shirt. Daddy says I'll have another sister in a year's time. That makes me very happy because that means we'll have another car. I'm scared of doctors. But Mommy isn't. She's one herself. She sticks syringes into her hand all the time. So,I don't understand why she went to a hospital last month. She told me it was to make her chest bigger so she could look more beautiful. But Sven granpa calls her the most beautiful woman on earth. If you're number 1 how can you go one up? Is number 0 better? Daddy loves taking his shirt off. It must be because he has a beautiful chest. It must be beautiful chest number 2. When Daddy is not home Mommy is with his friends. When Mommy is not home Daddy is with her friends. I don't like this. Who is whose friend now?
[0900hrs] (alarm rings) "Fuck, time already? Forget it, i'll sleep some more..." [0930hrs] (alram rings again, i knew i'd oversleep...) "Fine fine." [1030hrs] "What do i have again today? Ah, civil..." [1104hrs] "This stuff is crap" [1105hrs] "This stuff is crap" [1106hrs] "This stuff is crap" [1107hrs] "This stuff is crap. I'll call someone." [1151hrs] "Now where's my hall ticket?" [1211hrs] "Hmm.. i can't even pretend this stuff is gonna go into my head. I'll leave now.." (leaves home...) [1222hrs] (at the bus stop...) "Where the hell did all the fucking buses go??" [1235hrs] "Is that a bus? Bus? BUS? YES!!! It is... school bus." [1236hrs] "The vehicle. Ah-hah!" [1241hrs] "Crap. NO petrol" [1243hrs] (at the petrol bunk... sees bus going...) "Fuck fuck fuck" [1247hrs] (STILL at the petrol bunk...) "Dum dum da da da dum..." [1250hrs] "MOVE OVER! What the fuck are grannies like you driving pulsars for??" [1255hrs] "finally..." [1315hrs] "60... 60... 60... 62.. 65! 65??? That's all?" (ahem... for the uneducated, that's the top speed of the marvel.) [1320hrs] "Drawing hall? Shit." [1340hrs] "Total Station... er... umm... surveys?" [1350hrs] "Dude. Relax. 3hrs. Then, no more CIVIL. forEVER." [1359hrs] "Let's see.... ... .. ?? !!! . I'm screwed." [1400hrs] "big time"
[Interval. Go out for all your popcorn and 'leak'ing, people. Nothing much happens now, like anything did all this time... returning to the action a LONG time later...]
[2141hrs] "Wimbledon... let's see what's happeni... FUCK!!!!" (realises the cables been disconnected, for the third time in the last three days...) [2143hrs] "This phone number is under conversation. Yeah, right." [2200hrs] "Still not come. Bloody gonna screw the dumb ass cable guy.." [2203hrs] "Screw him proper."
(if you haven't got tired of this already, i bow to thee oh mighty reader. my powers of boring people have utterly failed. o lord, forgive me.)
Though I expected to enjoy the brazil-france game yesterday,I didn't. Here's why: 1. Henry,a shadow of his self at arsenal,when not being called for offside,was fooling around in the other half and gesturing at the linesmen. 2. Juninho looked like he'd been doing drugs all night(like he always looks). 3. Roberto Carlos kicked the ball out of play on those rare occasions when he managed to get his foot to it. 4. Claude Makelele had received instructions to foul everyone, including his own players at times,which he followed to the letter. 5. The icing on the cake,however,was the presence of the acid attack victim,frank ribery, on the pitch.
>. Lampard, for shooting so awful in the world cup >. Federer, for not having lost a single match on grass since summer of '02 >. the 10th std topper from chennai, who started her 'preparations' from the middle of 9th std >. bus drivers, for running on their own schedules >. the owner of the dog, right opposite my house, that won't shut up >. the idiots who invented google talk, for not including an invisible mode >. the guys who run hutch, for withdrawing the promo thing >. the nigs who did the sprite ads, hate 'em >. ribery, for looking like a face transplant patient >. the idiot guy at the (ahem...) 'reception' in college >. the guys at hero honda, for getting such 'cool' names.. >. the hindi commentators for the world cup >. people who get 'only' 92% and not 95, like they wanted >. those who exist in life only to 'go out' with the other sex >. especially those of the above, who are plain dumb.
